Christian Privilege and the Fox who cried wolf

http://ffrf.org/news/blog/item/21178-christian-privilege-and-the-fox-who-cried-wolf

It is no secret that I hold a huge amount of disdain for Fox News. This article is superb.

August 13, 2014

Fox News is not known for its accurate reporting. One of their recurring segments, “The Fight for Faith,” is especially detrimental to their reputation for fairness. The segment often discusses what they call the “war on religion” or, more specifically, “the persecution of Christians.” There are instances of real Christian persecution around the globe, but no convincing instance here in the U.S.  But that does not stop Fox News from claiming otherwise. In that segment, Fox News personality Elizabeth Hasselbeck highlighted FFRF’s victorious campaign persuading the U.S. Navy to comply with the Constitution by removing bibles from guest rooms at naval hotels. 

Hasselbeck complained, “You know, in light of what’s going on in the world and the persecution of Christians right now, how close do we want to get to eliminating religious freedom in the globe? Particularly here.” 

Let that sink in. “Particularly here,” in the United States, where the majority of citizens are Christian and where Christians are vastly overrepresented in the halls of power. Meanwhile, in Iraq, ISIS is actually persecuting non-Muslims, including Christians, forcing a real exodus (as opposed to the biblical myth). Hasselbeck and Fox News are giving the American Christian persecution complex a disproportionate voice, and they’re saying the wrong things. 

Let’s be clear, removing Christian privilege so that our government complies with the Constitution is not persecution. Eliminating religious privilege is not the same as eliminating religious freedom. If “ministers of the gospel” get a tax break that is not available to anyone else, the government is correct to end that break. This is simply ending unconstitutional favoritism the government is showing towards religion, as FFRF’s successful lawsuit against the parsonage housing allowance has shown. This is not hostility, it is equality. 

Fox’s problem is that Christian privilege in this country went largely unchallenged for nearly 200 years. But that has been changing. FFRF, our members, and like-minded groups are seeking to end Christian privilege and bring our government into line with the our secular Constitution. Christian privileges are not Christian rights, no matter how long they’ve been around. 

Christians: you may be used to a certain deference, but when the government no longer kowtows to your god—even if it does so because an atheist complained—this does not impinge your liberty. You may be inured to your undeserved benefits—but they are still unjust. You may be accustomed to a disproportionate influence with the government— but it is still improper. 

Fox News: take note. Like the boy who cried wolf, claims of religious persecution will lose all meaning if “Christian persecution” is shouted every time an unfair Christian privilege is ended. 

The days of Christian privilege are coming to an end. The atheists, agnostics, secularists, freethinkers—The Nones—are coming. We are not coming for your liberty; we are coming to end your unjustified privileges and buttress that all-important wall separating state and church. Stop crying wolf, if only because very soon you’re going to sound awfully hoarse.

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So I went to church today.....

I know. You're going to think I'm a hypocrite. Remember, I never said I was atheist, I just don't believe the bible is literal truth. I consider myself more agnostic. Please read on.

The hubs and I have been talking, and we thought that maybe finding a youth group for D1 somewhere that some of her friends from school went might be good for her. She's been having a hard time since the move back to Texas. We had tried the smaller church in town, but once the recorded phone calls started inundating our answering machine, we were pretty turned off. The one that sealed their fate was the recorded voice of the pastor talking about a new series they were doing on "how to get sexual intimacy back into your marriage". D1 was standing with the hubs when that little gem played out loud. THAT was fun.

There's one of those mega-churches not too far from here, which has never been my thing, but they have a great reputation for their kids' programs, and we just want D1 to be more social and make some friends.

I don't know, maybe I thought I was going to have some kind of epiphany while I was sitting there. It didn't happen. In fact, I left in tears at the hypocrisy of it all. There was a very small church we belonged to in MA, and although we went primarily for our kids, one of the things I liked best about it was that the pastor was accepting of all and fairly progressive for his profession. He supports equal rights and a woman's right to choose, and he will tell you that it's not his place to judge. The people were genuinely nice and caring, the kids' activities were great, and they were active in the community. Unfortunately, now I'm back in Texas, in the bible belt. Things are different here.

So I drop off the girls in their respective classrooms, which were more like theater productions. The number of people in this place was crazy. Growing up, I never liked those big churches, but I wanted to try this for the girls. D1 balked at going into the massive room that was to be her Sunday School, but she finally did. (The hubs would not come with me, and he warned me that I was going to come back angry.)

So I went into the "sanctuary". I was immediately disgusted. It wasn't church, it was a rock concert. The lead singer (a woman) had on leather tight pants and knee high spiked boots. People are jumping up and down and flinging their hands into the air while singing. The stage was huge and there were two jumbo screens on either side so everyone in the stadium style auditorium could see. Now before you get your knickers in a bunch, it's not the people in the audience I was disgusted with. I knew where I was and I knew the types of people who would be there. I am sure there were more than a few who are truly good Christians. The few people I interacted with were very nice and welcoming, but I really didn't talk much to anyone.

So the rock concert finally ends, and I am sitting thinking about all of that stage equipment, the lighting (oh yes, there were synchronized lights), the building itself, and also thinking about how this mega-church pays absolutely no taxes. And it gets better.

The pastor comes out and starts talking about giving. I actually liked what he had to say at first, because he was right. We need to give in our marriages, give in our communities, and give in society. He said he could sum up the bible into two words: "God gave."

Then he started talking about Leviticus and Deuteronomy. Leviticus basically lays out the laws, and Deuteronomy reiterates them. And he's right about that. Murder, stealing, lying, cheating, adultery.....all are wrong, and he says the laws in our country are created on the basis of Leviticus and Deuteronomy. And this is where he lost me. Why? Because all of these things are wrong and are agreed upon as wrong by humanity, not just Christianity.

His next comment was, "I cannot imagine why this country is turning away from these laws when they are very clearly based on lessons in the Bible."

Cue the thunderous applause.

And I am sitting there thinking, Which laws would those be? And have any of you actually read the United States Constitution?

He then goes on to say that freedom, fullness, and joy are all things that you find when you enter the House of God. I am sure that is true for some people. Good for them. Really. But then he went on to say that people who hadn't found God couldn't know these things.

Seriously? So people who don't believe in God can't know joy? Or freedom? Or fulfillment? What a complete and utter crock of you-know-what.

So then he gets on to the business of money. And this is where I started taking notes.

He starts with saying that he is interviewed all the time about giving, because his flock is just so wonderful at it. And he's not talking about money, he's talking about their time, their talents, etc. Okay, I'm okay with that.

"But today I'm going to talk to you about the importance of tithing." Yep, I knew it. Now I will say this again......I don't begrudge anyone their religion. I don't. The problem I have is when people use their religion to persecute others. The people who were there that tithe, do so of their own free will, and that's their business. I did wonder several times what good that amount of money would do in the community......for food banks, homeless shelters, feeding hungry children, but I digress.

So he says this: "When we give to the Lord, tithing gets us out from under the curse of the decrepit financial system of this country, and giving over and over strengthens the House of God.....in fact, [my wife] and I give well over the standard amount every month."

"How much can you give over and above your usual tithe?"

The emphasis was on what could they could do with the money - they could build more campuses, expand the buildings, add more projects - all had to do with expanding the church size, adding more people. Nothing was mentioned about helping people in the community, building house for the homeless, aiding local food banks, etc.

He tells a story about a man who wanted to give a field to God, and the priest told him he could still reap the rewards of that field, but 20% of the rewards had to go to God.

Here's a question: How exactly does God get the produce?

Then the pastor gets personal. He starts talking about how his family gives 20% every month, when the standard is 10%. I'm trying to figure out the algorithm in my head of how that money gets paid back to him since he's giving it to the church that's paying him, but let's move on. He said he lowered his tithing from 20% to 10% for several months, and "our finances spiraled out of control and started falling apart. I felt like God was punishing me."

But then God came to him and said, "I"m hurt because you don't want to give 20% anymore." The pastor said he was so guilt-ridden that he immediately started tithing 20% again.

And I'm thinking: Damn. God's good at reverse psychology.

Next guilt trip story? He said a member of the congregation, who is very well off, asked God what he should give, and the Lord told him $100,000. He asked his wife what she thought, and she said the Lord told her the same thing. He said after he gave that, it was the greatest year ever of their spiritual growth.

Hear that, people? Give an exorbitant amount of money, God loves you more.

So then he asks everyone to pull out their "commitment cards" (given to you as you walk in). He asks you to fill out what you think you can commit to. Be sure and talk to your spouse first. Don't spend beyond your means (even though he just told you that the more you give the more grace you get). And then this: "Better a small commitment than none at all!"

Oh and this: "Not prepared to give today? GIVE ONLINE!"

Then they pulled out these huge black bins to collect the offerings. People couldn't get to them fast enough.

I wanted to run as fast as I could and get my children and get out of the building.

But first, we had to go to the Chuck E. Cheese type toy counter, you know the one that has all the chintzy toys for a ridiculous amount of tickets? Yes, they had one in the church. D1 got tickets during Sunday School that she could go use to get prizes. So basically, you get a prize for coming to church. Then she got to use a special ticket to do one of those claw-type chance games. And of course she gets a prize. She's thinking this is the greatest place ever, and I am appalled that this is done in a church.

D2 comes out telling me how baby Jesus was sick and died and then woke up. I see the paper she has in her hand, and they had been talking about Lazarus. WHO TELLS A GROUP OF FOUR YEAR OLDS THE STORY OF LAZARUS? She's going to try to kill the dog and see if she comes back to life, for all I know. Because they said in church it can happen. Smack. My. Head.

Maybe I'm just old-fashioned. We won't be going back.

Letting Go of Your Past for the Sake of Your Children's Future

Hello friends.



This is a blog I have been wanting to write for a while, I just haven't been quite sure how to put it down on paper, so to speak. Many people know my history and the severely dysfunctional family I come from, but to put it out there in such a public forum has been a little daunting.

You know from my posts on my page that I am pretty passionate about my views on different topics. A lot of those views differ greatly from how I was brought up. But I thought you guys deserved to know where I am coming from most of the time, and so many of you have been so supportive and encouraging that I decided it was time to share.

I grew up in a small affluent community in the midwest, very white bread, everyone belonged to the country club and everyone went to the same church. Funny, since I was baptized in an Episcopalian church not too far away, but this church was Baptist. Must not have mattered, since it was closer to home. We had a golf cart, mom and dad played golf every weekend, they played in golf tournaments, went to parties, were very social, and all of that jazz. It was actually a nice place to live and grow up.

When I was 9 years old, all of that fell apart. My parents informed my two brothers and me that they were divorcing. My mother packed the three of us kids up and moved us back to Texas to be near my grandparents (NOT the go fishing, cookie baking, hugs and kisses type, trust me). This was the summer before I started 6th grade. With regards to the divorce, it was just nasty and so completely inappropriate with regards to what we were told. For years, my brothers and I were fed so much poison against my father from everyone from grandparents to aunts, uncles, and cousins.......everything was his fault, he was a terrible person, how could he have treated my mother that way, and so on and so on. I felt the need to grow up really fast, because I felt that I needed to take care of my mother and be strong for her. My older brother and younger brother stayed pretty clueless, and my older brother held onto such hatred for my father (and has to this day) that he was never much help. The few times I saw my father after the divorce, there was such animosity anytime he would try to pick us up or come into contact with any other family member that it just got really uncomfortable. At one point he came over to pick up my younger brother and me at my grandparent's house, and my grandfather walked out onto the driveway with a shotgun. Yeah. I was sitting in the car. Over the years my father and I had an on again/off again relationship, more because of me than him. I had so much negativity built up from all of the crap I had been brainwashed with about him, and I had a lot of growing up to do before I could really let go of it.

So fast forward a bit, and my mom remarried when I was 13. At that time, she was working for my grandparents who had their own business. My stepfather brought nothing to the marriage, but they managed to keep running the business, although not well enough for my grandparents to continue living in their house (they ended up moving to another town into a pretty crappy neighborhood). For years I watched my mom and my stepfather struggle, neither of them able to manage money worth a crap. They morphed the business into something a little different, but it was never very successful. I also watched my mother completely enable both of my brothers for years and even to this day, and they are both in their forties. My mother and stepfather were miserable. They weren't happy at home, they weren't happy at work, they made each other's lives hell for over 25 years. My stepfather left three years ago. He had been lied to for years, and while he was no saint (the first Thanksgiving I brought my then future husband home for dinner, he threw his fork across the table and screamed and left the table because he didn't want to say what he was thankful for), I really don't blame him. Watching them all those years made me realize exactly what I DIDN'T want in my life as far as a relationship was concerned.

My first realization that my parents were racist? My best friend in 6th grade was black. We are still friends, mostly through Facebook, and she is just gorgeous inside and out. But in 6th grade I was never allowed to go to her house, she was never allowed at mine, no sleepovers, nothing. These were the rules of my mother and stepfather. I never really got an explanation, and at one point I actually said to my mother that she was racist. My stepfather was so racist that to the day he left he would get angry that the black server at the coffee shop he went to wouldn't call him "Captain" (I am not kidding). My mother was NOT very happy with my comment. But she was then, and she is now. She is racist, intolerant, homophobic and ignorant on so many topics, and that infuriates the crap out of me.

I graduated high school in the top 7% of my class (there were like 450 of us, so not bad - class of '89, baby!), worked full time in child care to put myself through college, since there was never any illusion that anyone else was going to pay for it, and then had a very successful teaching career in public school. When I couldn't make ends meet living in an apartment on my own on a teacher's salary, I got a second job in retail. What a concept! I never asked anyone for money. (I am the only one in the family with a college degree.)

So I met my then future husband, we started dating, and married in 2003. I had our first daughter in late spring 2005 (with complications and a stay in the NICU), and I stopped working then. I am thankful every day that he has such a great career that I was able to stay home with her, and then continue to stay home when we had our second daughter in 2010. In 2006, we ended up moving to the Northeast for a little over 6 years, moving back to Texas about a year ago. Those 6+ years of living thousands of miles away really gave me a new perspective on so many things. I saw so many situations differently and I also saw how toxic a lot of them were, and how sucked into them I would get. I had the chance to become my own person, to build a life in a brand new town with new friends, new experiences, and new challenges, with people who didn't know me at all. It was actually really great.

Ok, so here's where it gets interesting. If you're still reading, you are my hero!!

When we moved back to Texas we moved back to where my brothers and my mother live. This was a huge point of discussion between my husband and me when we were deciding whether or not to move back. My older brother and his wife are just not nice people. They have done some really horrible things to me and my family, and though I have forgiven my brother, he is just not someone I can have in my life, much less around my children. My sister-in-law? She brings out the absolute worst in my brother. It's actually very sad. These are people that scream, yell, and cuss at their children. My brother has called his daughter an idiot, his son a "little shit", and other such colorful monikers. His wife is no better. That woman is just malevolent. I do not want, nor do I need, people like that around me. Oh but wait! They go to church! My mom loves to tell me how they go to church every Sunday and how involved they are. Too bad it doesn't seem to be sinking in at all. And the enabling? I could go on for ages. My mother has always been all about my older brother. I don't get it, but there it is. This is not jealousy talking, honestly. It's just a fact.

My younger brother is a former (I hope) drug addict. He says he has quit, but I just don't trust him. The fact that he ever even did drugs in the first place just floors me. He was a star football player in high school, a U.S. Marine, and I was so proud of him. His girlfriend is someone who has cussed my mother up one side and down the other, has thrown chairs at my mother, has lied to just about everyone, and loves to stab people in the back. Sounds like a winner, huh? Although I would love to have a relationship with him, since we were always close, I will NOT have her around my children. So it is what it is.

In the year we have been back, none of them have made any attempt to see us or communicate at all. I have always been the family mediator, the referee, and I am just not doing it anymore. My mother does not deal with this well. On one hand, I don't blame her, but on the other, she has enabled both of them so much their entire lives and she still does. My older brother and his wife owe her thousands of dollars that they refuse to acknowledge, and my younger brother basically tanked her business, her only source of income. She lost her house (long story, but it was her own doing), and she now has an apartment. She wants to live the life of a retired wealthy widow, but she never, ever planned for that kind of a life. I hate her situation, I hate that she let it happen, I hate that she is unhappy, but it's not up to me nor is it my responsibility to fix it. It has taken me a LONG TIME to come to that realization and be okay with it.

However, the jealousy and resentment towards me and my family is so palpable that it's hard to even have my mother over to my house. There are constant insinuations about what we can afford and how much things cost, and there are also constant requests for money. And this is someone who continually posts status updates about bible passages and other nonsense in between the absolutely hateful posts directed at Obama. My older brother will post something on his wall (or so I get told) about some wonderful thing that happened at church and then the next day he will post a status update laced with foul language berating some sports team, or Obama, or anything else he doesn't agree with. Such hypocrites. But you know what? I refuse to apologize for having a good life. I refuse to apologize for having a good marriage. My husband is amazing, he loves and respects me, he takes very good care of me and his daughters, and he works hard to do so. He does NOT work to support my mother, who is in a situation made of her own doing.

There is SOOOOOOO much more history here and so much more to the story, but I didn't want this to be a million miles long. Suffice it to say that I don't take the removal of people from my life lightly. But it is what is best for me, for my marriage, and for my children.

I do now have a relationship with my dad. It took a long time, but I have finally decided that the past is the past and there's nothing he can do to change what happened, but we can try to move forward. I want my kids to know their grandpa. And you know what? It's been amazing. We have fun together, we laugh, and my dad and my husband actually argue about who's going to pick up the check if we go out to dinner. You have no idea what a novel experience that is around here. The first time we spent time with him and my stepmom, my husband said, "Ohhhh! So THAT'S where you come from !" Ha! We can talk and debate without someone resorting to insults and swearing, and my dad actually has had some really good advice and encouragement for me when I share with him some of my frustrations about all the crap going on. I also now know a bit more of the story behind their divorce, things that make so much sense knowing my mother. Things I wish I had known a long time ago. I am thankful for him.

Ok so religion? A large part of my family consists of Baptist ministers and missionaries. I grew up in the bible belt. Some of these people are amazing, kind, generous people. But others are amazing and kind one minute, and hateful and judgmental the next. I have seen too many so called "Christians" behave in the most un-Christianlike ways possible, and it seems to be getting worse. I have no tolerance for that. I do not begrudge anyone their faith. Honestly, I envy those with a strong sense of faith. But what I do have a problem with is people who think their faith belongs in schools, in government, in public buildings. It does NOT. We should have respect for all. America was NOT founded on Christianity, people. In my opinion, agree with me or not, the bible is a work of fiction, changed so many times over the years that no one has any idea what the original work even said. It contradicts itself over and over, makes no sense a lot of the time, and was written by men who thought the world was flat. I'm sorry, but how is that any different from the Scientologists who follow a book by L. Ron Hubbard? Why couldn't I just take all seven Harry Potter books and from a new religion based on them? Voldemort as the evil one, Harry Potter as the savior? Why not? I believe in science and facts. I do have questions, I do have doubts, and that is why I would say I am agnostic more than atheist. I could go on, but I really don't want to offend any more people than I already have. And besides, I have covered this in prior blog posts.

Guns......oh boy. I honestly cannot get over the paranoia going on right now in the American Taliban (that would be the Tea Party and any other right wing nut stupid enough to believe the government is trying to repeal the second amendment). Gun restrictions have actually loosened during Obama's term. Again, all reasonable people want is for weapons capable of firing multiple rounds per minute to NOT fall into the hands of people who would use them to harm innocent people. I cannot figure out why that is so hard to understand. When the founding fathers presented the second amendment, they had absolutely NO IDEA that we would progress to the level of weaponry available today. They had muskets, revolvers, pistols, and bayonets. Cannons that took 5 or 6 men to move. I couldn't care less if you own a handgun. You have the right to protect your home and family. But no one needs to own a semi-automatic rifle, or a machine gun, or a gun capable of firing rapid, multiple rounds. No one.

Obama? I don't think he's done all that great a job, but he is the President of the United States, and I will give him the respect he deserves as such. I will NOT talk badly about him in front of my children, and his skin color has absolutely nothing to do with anything, much less his job performance. To me, it's kind of like your relatives. You can talk badly about them all you want, but if someone outside the family does it, there's hell to pay. It should be the same thing. My husband and I talk a lot about what's going on in our country, but we get really upset when people from other countries talk badly about our President and NO ONE says anything or steps up and says it's not okay. Because it's NOT okay. I think it makes us look really bad to the rest of the world.

Ok I'm gonna stop here. Partly because it's almost 3 a.m. and partly because this is already way long and those of you still reading are just freakin' saints. Seriously.

I hope this gives you a bit more insight into who I am and where I come from. If you still want to know more or you have a question, please don't hesitate to ask!

XOXOXOX

One Blunt Mom

Mommas, Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Idiots

With all of the political, social, and general turmoil going on lately, it seems like the crazies are coming out of the woodwork. Seriously. 

First, you have the Republican party. I mean COME ON. I am not a hard line liberal, there are many things I agree with that would be considered conservative, and there are many things I agree with that would be considered liberal. I consider myself independent. But it really seems like every time a republican opens their mouth lately some moronic comment is said that just makes more and more people run for the hills. You have this Rep. Jodi Lautenberg (R-TX). Holy hell this woman is a joke. First of all, to look at her you wonder if she’s real or just a prop from Madame Tussaud’s. Then you hear her speak, and you wish she wasn’t real. She argued against prenatal care for women because, well, “they’re not born yet.” She said that rape kits could cause abortions in women. I’m sure she has said many other stupid things, but it hurts my head too much to read much of it. She was also a key author in this last Texas legislation restricting women’s rights. I want to punch her in her plastic face. She's not the only one that has made such ridiculous comments, but most of the others have come from men, and, well......they're men. She should bloody well know better. But alas, she's an idiot. No doubt raised by a God-fearing woman who cringed at the sight of her husband, acquiesced to his every demand, believed every single thing the Bible said (even though it contradicts itself throughout), and believed the only reason for sex was to create a baby. 

You have people like Ted Cruz (R-TX), another one from Texas - good grief - who said after Obama’s comments about Trayvon Martin, that Obama “just wants to take your guns.” I’m sorry, but, HUH?? Mr. Cruz admitted he hadn’t even heard the speech. But he took the opportunity to use those same old scare tactics all those good old boys like to use, and I am sure he got a big pat on the back from the NRA at some point, also. I am so SICK of this he said/she said crap going on in our government. There is so much back biting and mud slinging, it’s embarrassing. You want Obama to stop “apologizing” for America? Stop making him have to. Mr. Cruz, you are a narrow-minded hypocrite who talks and talks about liberty for all, and yet you just helped to further restrict the rights of women in Texas with this latest bill. You are male, and until you can become pregnant and find your life in danger due to that pregnancy, or you become pregnant by rape or molestation.....oh, WAIT! That can never happen! Idiot. Here is a fantastic article for you to read....

The Neverending Wisdom of Ted Cruz

I’ve got news for you, people. The government does NOT want to take your guns. The government does NOT want to strip the 2nd amendment from the Constitution. Stop the ridiculous paranoia. What reasonable people want is restrictions on gun ownership.....let’s not put military assault rifles in the hands of the mentally ill, mmmm-kay? And I don’t care how much you like them, no one needs to own a machine gun. You’re gonna hunt with it my ass.......unless you plan on obliterating whatever it is you’re hunting, you don’t need a fucking machine gun to hunt. I love the argument that the founding fathers gave us the right to bear arms. The founding fathers could never have imagined the level of weaponry available today. And their main reason for including such an amendment was so the citizens could protect their homes from invading soldiers and native americans. It seriously cracks me up that the most vociferous about keeping their guns also tend to be the most holier than thou. Please, someone show me where it says in the Bible that you have the right to own a gun. Stop being idiots. 

Moving away from politics, because we could be there all day, I’m gonna go after the moms at the playground. You know the ones, the moms who ignore their kids, the moms who sit and chat while sipping their grande lattes, all the while completely oblivious to the fact that their precious little cherubs are causing havoc on the monkey bars. These are the kids who grow up to be bullies, “mean girls”, and spoiled brats. The moms are convinced that their kids can do no wrong, but they never observe enough to see whether that’s true or not, and they’ll be the first ones to step up and tell their little offspring how amazingly perfect they are......that they can do no wrong, everything is everyone else’s fault, and so on and so on. They get in trouble at school? It must be the teacher. They get in trouble in sports? It must be the coach. They get in trouble at a friend's house? It must be the friend. In essence, they’re creating little monsters for the rest of us to deal with. Little monsters that grow up into big, pain in the ass adults who have no idea how to navigate socially. You didn’t think these people were born that way, did you? Children learn by what they see and hear every day. 

Which brings me to bigotry and racism. I just don’t get it. Growing up, my parents were divorced when I was very young and my mother remarried a man who was very bigoted, and he brought out that very ugly side of her that I hadn’t really seen before. My best friend in sixth grade was black, but she was never allowed at my house, we couldn’t have sleepovers, and it was all just kind of brushed under the rug as to why. I actually called both of them racists at one point. I never really forgave my mother for that. But by that point I had grown up quite a bit due to the divorce, and I knew what was right and what was wrong. 

What IS wrong is judging a person by the color of their skin. Black, white, asian, hispanic, or anything else, I don’t care. As long as you are nice to me I will be nice to you. Even if you’re wearing a hoodie. But open your mouth and start spouting some punk ass nonsense? Yep, I’m done. I don’t stereotype and I don’t make blanket statements about groups of people. I do get really frustrated with people who continually use events that happened over a hundred years ago to justify their struggles now. No, I do not know what it’s like to be judged by my race. I’m pretty white bread. But I also know that there are many people, of many different backgrounds, who have worked hard to pull themselves out of their situations and make their lives better. They didn’t sit around and complain, they DID something. I don’t think anyone would say it was easy. And it makes me ill that there are people out there like that Ann Coulter bitch (that’s just stupidity walkin’ right there, her momma must be so proud....). But my husband and I teach our girls at every opportunity that what a person looks like doesn’t matter one bit.....we are nice to people unless they give us a reason not to be. I’ve had people close to me try to argue that Obama should be impeached (give me one specific reason why), that he has disrespected his office (again, specifics), and so on. I know for a fact that the biggest problem these people have with him is that he is black. That is just insanity. 

This is a capitalist country, not a communistic or socialist one. That means that you work for what you want and you don’t sit around waiting for someone to hand you a million dollars. Publisher’s Clearing House is not going to come knocking on your door, I am pretty sure. I have the utmost respect for people who have worked their way to success, and especially for those who hit rock bottom and climbed back up, fighting all the way. I do not tolerate people who abuse the system, collecting their welfare checks while popping out more and more kids, and yet they seem to have brand new tattoos and cell phones every week. I have a problem with that. THOSE are the idiots. And they were more than likely raised by parents who did the exact same thing. People who sit around complaining about how others have more than they do, how it’s not fair, how it’s all Obama’s fault. Or Bush’s fault. Someone else’s fault, anyone’s fault except their own. Because it can’t be their responsibility that they are in the situation they are in, right? Idiots. Everyone has choices. Your situation is a direct result of choices you make. Now.....don’t go all apeshit on me. I am NOT talking about people who are in dire straits due to unfortunate circumstances......people who were laid off because the company closed, people who were injured and legitimately cannot work, people who have genuine reasons that have caused their situations. So get off your high horses. 

Ahhh, bigotry......such a vile word and such a hateful thing. I am very much for equal rights for everyone. Don’t agree? Get OVER IT! No one cares whether or not you agree, but you don’t have the right to tell other people how to live. I cannot understand people who think they have to right to judge how other people live their lives. If someone is happy, why does that make you angry? And furthermore, why in the hell do you care? Again, we have the bible thumpers screaming and hollering that it’s wrong, it’s against the Bible, blah blah blah. It's against  your religion? Who fucking cares? I’m sorry, but at what point did the Bible become the law of the land? This country was NOT founded on Christianity, contrary to what a lot of so-called Christians would have you believe. It was founded in part on the freedom of religion, which includes the freedom NOT to believe. This country is a melting pot......there are people here of all backgrounds, religions, beliefs, and cultures. The Christian “Right” are losing their ever-loving minds. 

Children are not born to hate, to be intolerant, to be bigots, to be hateful. Children learn racism from racist parents. Children learn bigotry from parents who are bigots. Children learn intolerance, hatred, fear, absolutism, nonchalance, and disregard for the feelings of others from parents who exhibit the same traits. Children repeat things they hear at home and they do it at school, at parties, at friend’s houses. And I guarantee you the adults in attendance know where it came from. 

Teach your children to appreciate the differences in each other and in the people around them. Teach them to be courteous. Teach them to accept people for who they are. Teach them that it’s ok to walk away from someone if that person is hateful, rude, intolerant, or bigoted....even if it’s a friend. Teach them to ask questions. Teach them that how other people live their lives is not their business, and it doesn’t affect them. Teach them to love. Teach all of this by doing it yourself. Every day. Teach them to stand up for what they believe in, but to do it with dignity, and that it’s not ok to degrade, humiliate, or insult others simply because their opinions differ.  

In other words, don’t let them grow up to be idiots. 

(Oh, and manners, PLEASE teach them manners.)

Got Religion? Great. Get It Out of My Face.

Greg Epstein is the humanist chaplain at Harvard University and the author of the New York Times bestseller “Good Without God.” In the introduction, he wrote: “This is not a book about whether one can be good without God, because that question does not need to be answered -- it needs to be rejected outright. To suggest that one can’t be good without belief in God is not just an opinion, a mere curious musing -- it is a prejudice.”

It's also complete crap.

I often say that people I have known that claim to be the most Christian -- "I go to church every Sunday, I've read the bible five times, I lead the prayer group, blah blah blah" -- are usually the least Christian in their actions. It's the ultimate in hypocrisy. These are the same people who are quick to quote the bible to prove their point, but they really dislike it when you either point out how they're using the scripture wrong or how they are completely misunderstanding it. These people will stab you in the back in a New York minute, they'll gossip about anyone and everyone whenever they get the chance, they're rude to customer service workers whenever anything doesn't go their way, you get the point. But try to argue your opinion, and they're the first to say, "But the bible says!!!"

I don't dislike religion. What I dislike is people who think that what they believe is what everyone around them should believe. Or in reality, what the whole world should believe. Take those who do missionary work, for example. If you're going to impoverished countries to actually help people, I think that is beyond commendable and I actually wish I had the opportunity to do that also. But if you're going there because you think that these impoverished people would be so much better off if they subscribed to your beliefs, that's just a kind of hubris I can't even wrap my head around. What's wrong with what they believe? Why is what you believe right, or so much better? What if THEY'RE right and you're wrong? 

Let's go back to the "civilization" of America. Funny term, that. We teach in history class that the first colonists were the ones to start civilizing the country. In my opinion, the country was already more civilized by the natives that were already here. You had people who respected the land, using only what was needed, took care of their own, established rules and governments within their own tribes and made treaties with other tribes, and established their own languages and means of communication. Yes, they fought with other tribes. They fought for land, they fought for supplies, they fought for many reasons. How, I ask, is that any different than any other civilization since time began?

And yet they were savages who needed to be taught.

So what did we bring them? The word of God. The bible. How to worship a book instead of the earth and everything she provided. And what else? Disease. Alcohol. And guns. Let's not forget the guns. Then we told them they couldn't stay on this land they had held for how many hundreds of years because we wanted it. So we made them move. But still told them God was good and would take care of them. Trail of Tears, anyone?

Then we have Catholicism. What a complete joke. That religion is so steeped in violence, murder, corruption and greed that I am absolutely amazed that anyone actually takes it seriously. The Pope is flawless and never has an impure thought? Seriously? He's MALE. I call complete BULLSHIT. And don't even get me started on the whole "priests raping little boys" scandal. That just makes me sick. So they're ok with covering that up, moving those priests around to keep it quiet.......but birth control is a sin, fertility assistance goes against the word of God, homosexuality is an abomination, and so on and so on. I've got news for you, Catholics....homosexuality has been observed in almost every animal species. You know what has never been observed in anything but humans? CELIBACY. Oh and then there's the problem I have with Catholicism and the ten commandments.....you know the one that says, "Thou shalt have no other Gods before me"?  Then there's the one that says you cannot create any image or any likeness of any heavenly being or object. Those would be the FIRST TWO commandments. Now, walk into any Catholic church. And there ya go. Absolute hypocrisy.

So now you have people arguing against abortion, even though Roe vs. Wade was passed almost forty years ago, and they're trying to use the bible to stand behind. You have people arguing against equal rights for homosexuals, trying to use the bible to stand behind. You have people arguing that the government (the GOVERNMENT) should be following the bible, using prayer in Congress, and so on. What in the hell is going on in this country? 

I love the people who try to argue that this country was founded on Christianity. Um, no it wasn't and some of you people seriously need to read up on your history. The Treaty of Tripoli, ratified by the U.S. Senate in 1797, states that "the Government of the United States of America is not, in any sense, founded on the Christian religion." Furthermore, Article Six of the Constitution reads "no religious test shall ever be required as a qualification to any 
office or public trust under the United States." In other words, a person does not have to 
subscribe to any particular religious faith in order to serve as President, as a member of 
Congress, as a federal judge, or in any other government position. The First Amendment 
prohibits the government from banning any religion, and also prohibits the government from 
setting up any religion as the nation's official faith, no matter what the zealots would like to 
have happen.


Oh, Westboro Baptist Church. What ammunition you provide. If ever there was an entity that 
claims to be doing the work of God and is, in actuality, doing the COMPLETE OPPOSITE, it 
would be you. You people are so ridiculously misled and brainwashed it's amazing any of 
you can go take a pee on your own. Oh wait, maybe you all do that together, too. Mr. Phelps, 
you are evil walking, and you can tell yourself whatever you want to help yourself sleep at 
night, but the ONLY people who think you have any sense in that peabrain of yours are the 
ones drinking your KoolAid on a daily basis. Freak.

I don't claim to be an atheist. I don't claim to be agnostic. I was raised and baptized Episcopalian, but then church became more of a social scene once I was in middle and high school. We'd go to church with my grandparents, sometimes this Baptist church, sometimes that one, sometimes a Methodist church. I guess the feeling was, as Dolly Parton said in "Steel Magnolias", that "God didn't care which church you went to as long as you showed up." 

I also don't claim to be religious. I believe in science, I believe in facts, and I sure as hell don't believe that the bible: a book written by men, a book that contradicts itself over and over, a book made of up stories passed down by how many generations with embellishments and additions made by how many people.....I just cannot believe that this is a book I am supposed to base my entire life around. 

Now here's where I will concede a few points. I do not argue that there are good points and morals in the bible that we should all strive to follow. I mean really, there's the Golden Rule, which SOOOO many people seem to have conveniently forgotten: "Do unto others as you would have others do unto you." Too bad more "Christians" don't follow that one.

My husband and I are kind, generous people. We teach our children to be kind and respectful, and we do not judge people by anything but by their deeds. We have the same struggles as everyone else. We give to charities, we volunteer our time in our community, we take care of our responsibilities and we don't expect anything from anyone. We open doors for people, we say please and thank you, we teach our children correct table manners and to be respectful of adults. We do our best to recycle and do what we can to help reduce our carbon footprint. I work in the garden, I teach my girls how to help me with that, and hopefully in the spring we're going to start a vegetable garden. We help when help is warranted, but we certainly balk at helping people who just want something for nothing. My husband and I love each other deeply, we are celebrating our tenth anniversary this year, we have a lot of fun together, and we make sure our children see us show affection toward each other just as much as we show affection towards them. There's not a day in this house that every single person isn't told how much they are loved. Again, we have the same struggles, the same frustrations, the same child-rearing woes as everyone else. We yell, we get angry. We also make up, laugh, giggle, cry and hug each other. 

Yep, we're total heathens.