Today We Mourn the Passing of COMMON SENSE

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years.. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: 
Knowing when to come in out of the rain; 
Why the early bird gets the worm; 
Life isn't always fair; 
and
Maybe it was my fault. 

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). 

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 -year- old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition. 

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer Tylenol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion. 

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. 

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault. 

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement. Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. 

He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. 

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

Things I Can't Do Anymore, Thanks to the Internet

So we've all gotten the emails from Aunt Sally, the Facebook shares, the paranoid rants from friends saying, "OH MY GOD did you read the one about.....???" Most of them usually turn out to be urban legends. Even so, way too many people will believe them anyway. It seriously seems as if the more our knowledge is expanded by technology, the dumber and more gullible we get. No matter the story, no matter how far-fetched, it's on the Internet. It's been shared like thousands of times. How can it not be true? 

So here's a list of things I can't do anymore.....thanks to the Internet and all of you people who forward me emails, share things on my Facebook wall, and do the whole, "OH MY GOD did you hear about....." thing. Thanks so much.

Things I Can't Do Anymore, Thanks to the Internet:

I can no longer open a bathroom door without using a paper towel. Or my sleeve. Or the hem of my skirt. I've even used my elbows at times. But I've seen enough women leave the restroom without washing their hands and I've heard enough stories about the crap (literally and figuratively) left on the handles of public restroom doors that I can't bring myself to touch them anymore.

I can't let the waitress put lemon slices in my ice water - too much bacteria on the lemon peel. 

I can't sit down on a hotel bedspread because I can only imagine what has happened on it since it was last washed. And don't even get me started on the ink blot designs I make in my head out of the blood and other stains that would surely show up with black lights in the hotel room. 

I have trouble shaking hands with someone who has been driving because the number one pastime while driving alone is picking one's nose. 

Eating a little snack sends me on a guilt trip because I can only imagine how many gallons of trans fats I have consumed over the years. Hey! We didn't know they were bad until recently!

I can't touch any other woman's purse for fear she has placed it on the floor of a public bathroom.

I must send my special thanks for the email about rat crap in the glue on envelopes. I must also send an extra special thanks to whomever invented self-stick stamps and self-sealing envelopes. 

ALSO, now I have to wipe off the top of every can before I open it for the same reason.

I can't have a drink in a bar because I fear I'll wake up in a bathtub full of ice with my kidneys gone.

I can't eat at KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freakish things with no eyes, feet or feathers.

I can't use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day. (Actually I do use deodorant. Body odor is one of my biggest pet peeves and I just can't handle it, no matter what the consequences might be.)

Thanks to you I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes. Yet another reason why I think religion is crap. 

Because of your concern , I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains. I also no longer use Listerine, because it can apparently remove the callouses from your feet. 

I no longer buy gas without taking someone along to watch the car, so a serial killer doesn't crawl in my back seat when I'm filling up. Or slide in the passenger seat. You know what? From now on I am just going to send my husband to buy the gas.

I no longer use Saran Wrap in the microwave because it causes seven different types of cancer.

And thanks for letting me know I can't boil a cup of water or heat up my coffee in the microwave anymore because it will blow up in my face, disfiguring me for life.

I no longer go to the movie theater because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS when I sit down. That and the fact that people in the movie theater are generally so fucking annoying that I want to slap every single one of them before the movie is over.

I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a huge phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore and the Ukraine........like I would dial it anyway. But I digress.

Thanks to you I can't use any bathroom but mine because a big black snake could be lurking under the toilet seat and cause me instant death when it bites my butt. Because there's plenty of room for a big black snake under the seat, you know. You'd never notice a huge snake before you sat down.

And thanks to your great advice I can't ever pick up a dime coin dropped in the car park because it was probably placed there by a molester waiting to grab me as I bend over. Because they all want me. They really do. 

I can't do any gardening because I'm afraid I'll get bitten by the Violin Spider and my hand will fall off. For those that don't know, the Violin Spider is a Brown Recluse. I live in Texas. Those suckers are vicious. Your hand probably wouldn't fall off, but it wouldn't be pretty after the spider got done with it.

I can no longer take my dog to the dog park because she might pick up a poison soaked Nerf ball. There are just too many weirdos out there.

I can't use the barbecue grill anymore because if I'm wearing my contacts, they're going to fuse to my eyeballs, and if I'm wearing my glasses, I can't see worth a damn. 

So see? See all of these things I can't do anymore? Things that were, for the most part, fine and dandy before the Internet allowed us to share, post, send, and tweet anything and everything, be it true or not? 

I'm sure there are many, many more. Maybe enough for another blog on another day. But that's all for now. I'd love to hear some of yours!

XOXOXOX

One Blunt Mom

Mommas, Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Idiots

With all of the political, social, and general turmoil going on lately, it seems like the crazies are coming out of the woodwork. Seriously. 

First, you have the Republican party. I mean COME ON. I am not a hard line liberal, there are many things I agree with that would be considered conservative, and there are many things I agree with that would be considered liberal. I consider myself independent. But it really seems like every time a republican opens their mouth lately some moronic comment is said that just makes more and more people run for the hills. You have this Rep. Jodi Lautenberg (R-TX). Holy hell this woman is a joke. First of all, to look at her you wonder if she’s real or just a prop from Madame Tussaud’s. Then you hear her speak, and you wish she wasn’t real. She argued against prenatal care for women because, well, “they’re not born yet.” She said that rape kits could cause abortions in women. I’m sure she has said many other stupid things, but it hurts my head too much to read much of it. She was also a key author in this last Texas legislation restricting women’s rights. I want to punch her in her plastic face. She's not the only one that has made such ridiculous comments, but most of the others have come from men, and, well......they're men. She should bloody well know better. But alas, she's an idiot. No doubt raised by a God-fearing woman who cringed at the sight of her husband, acquiesced to his every demand, believed every single thing the Bible said (even though it contradicts itself throughout), and believed the only reason for sex was to create a baby. 

You have people like Ted Cruz (R-TX), another one from Texas - good grief - who said after Obama’s comments about Trayvon Martin, that Obama “just wants to take your guns.” I’m sorry, but, HUH?? Mr. Cruz admitted he hadn’t even heard the speech. But he took the opportunity to use those same old scare tactics all those good old boys like to use, and I am sure he got a big pat on the back from the NRA at some point, also. I am so SICK of this he said/she said crap going on in our government. There is so much back biting and mud slinging, it’s embarrassing. You want Obama to stop “apologizing” for America? Stop making him have to. Mr. Cruz, you are a narrow-minded hypocrite who talks and talks about liberty for all, and yet you just helped to further restrict the rights of women in Texas with this latest bill. You are male, and until you can become pregnant and find your life in danger due to that pregnancy, or you become pregnant by rape or molestation.....oh, WAIT! That can never happen! Idiot. Here is a fantastic article for you to read....

The Neverending Wisdom of Ted Cruz

I’ve got news for you, people. The government does NOT want to take your guns. The government does NOT want to strip the 2nd amendment from the Constitution. Stop the ridiculous paranoia. What reasonable people want is restrictions on gun ownership.....let’s not put military assault rifles in the hands of the mentally ill, mmmm-kay? And I don’t care how much you like them, no one needs to own a machine gun. You’re gonna hunt with it my ass.......unless you plan on obliterating whatever it is you’re hunting, you don’t need a fucking machine gun to hunt. I love the argument that the founding fathers gave us the right to bear arms. The founding fathers could never have imagined the level of weaponry available today. And their main reason for including such an amendment was so the citizens could protect their homes from invading soldiers and native americans. It seriously cracks me up that the most vociferous about keeping their guns also tend to be the most holier than thou. Please, someone show me where it says in the Bible that you have the right to own a gun. Stop being idiots. 

Moving away from politics, because we could be there all day, I’m gonna go after the moms at the playground. You know the ones, the moms who ignore their kids, the moms who sit and chat while sipping their grande lattes, all the while completely oblivious to the fact that their precious little cherubs are causing havoc on the monkey bars. These are the kids who grow up to be bullies, “mean girls”, and spoiled brats. The moms are convinced that their kids can do no wrong, but they never observe enough to see whether that’s true or not, and they’ll be the first ones to step up and tell their little offspring how amazingly perfect they are......that they can do no wrong, everything is everyone else’s fault, and so on and so on. They get in trouble at school? It must be the teacher. They get in trouble in sports? It must be the coach. They get in trouble at a friend's house? It must be the friend. In essence, they’re creating little monsters for the rest of us to deal with. Little monsters that grow up into big, pain in the ass adults who have no idea how to navigate socially. You didn’t think these people were born that way, did you? Children learn by what they see and hear every day. 

Which brings me to bigotry and racism. I just don’t get it. Growing up, my parents were divorced when I was very young and my mother remarried a man who was very bigoted, and he brought out that very ugly side of her that I hadn’t really seen before. My best friend in sixth grade was black, but she was never allowed at my house, we couldn’t have sleepovers, and it was all just kind of brushed under the rug as to why. I actually called both of them racists at one point. I never really forgave my mother for that. But by that point I had grown up quite a bit due to the divorce, and I knew what was right and what was wrong. 

What IS wrong is judging a person by the color of their skin. Black, white, asian, hispanic, or anything else, I don’t care. As long as you are nice to me I will be nice to you. Even if you’re wearing a hoodie. But open your mouth and start spouting some punk ass nonsense? Yep, I’m done. I don’t stereotype and I don’t make blanket statements about groups of people. I do get really frustrated with people who continually use events that happened over a hundred years ago to justify their struggles now. No, I do not know what it’s like to be judged by my race. I’m pretty white bread. But I also know that there are many people, of many different backgrounds, who have worked hard to pull themselves out of their situations and make their lives better. They didn’t sit around and complain, they DID something. I don’t think anyone would say it was easy. And it makes me ill that there are people out there like that Ann Coulter bitch (that’s just stupidity walkin’ right there, her momma must be so proud....). But my husband and I teach our girls at every opportunity that what a person looks like doesn’t matter one bit.....we are nice to people unless they give us a reason not to be. I’ve had people close to me try to argue that Obama should be impeached (give me one specific reason why), that he has disrespected his office (again, specifics), and so on. I know for a fact that the biggest problem these people have with him is that he is black. That is just insanity. 

This is a capitalist country, not a communistic or socialist one. That means that you work for what you want and you don’t sit around waiting for someone to hand you a million dollars. Publisher’s Clearing House is not going to come knocking on your door, I am pretty sure. I have the utmost respect for people who have worked their way to success, and especially for those who hit rock bottom and climbed back up, fighting all the way. I do not tolerate people who abuse the system, collecting their welfare checks while popping out more and more kids, and yet they seem to have brand new tattoos and cell phones every week. I have a problem with that. THOSE are the idiots. And they were more than likely raised by parents who did the exact same thing. People who sit around complaining about how others have more than they do, how it’s not fair, how it’s all Obama’s fault. Or Bush’s fault. Someone else’s fault, anyone’s fault except their own. Because it can’t be their responsibility that they are in the situation they are in, right? Idiots. Everyone has choices. Your situation is a direct result of choices you make. Now.....don’t go all apeshit on me. I am NOT talking about people who are in dire straits due to unfortunate circumstances......people who were laid off because the company closed, people who were injured and legitimately cannot work, people who have genuine reasons that have caused their situations. So get off your high horses. 

Ahhh, bigotry......such a vile word and such a hateful thing. I am very much for equal rights for everyone. Don’t agree? Get OVER IT! No one cares whether or not you agree, but you don’t have the right to tell other people how to live. I cannot understand people who think they have to right to judge how other people live their lives. If someone is happy, why does that make you angry? And furthermore, why in the hell do you care? Again, we have the bible thumpers screaming and hollering that it’s wrong, it’s against the Bible, blah blah blah. It's against  your religion? Who fucking cares? I’m sorry, but at what point did the Bible become the law of the land? This country was NOT founded on Christianity, contrary to what a lot of so-called Christians would have you believe. It was founded in part on the freedom of religion, which includes the freedom NOT to believe. This country is a melting pot......there are people here of all backgrounds, religions, beliefs, and cultures. The Christian “Right” are losing their ever-loving minds. 

Children are not born to hate, to be intolerant, to be bigots, to be hateful. Children learn racism from racist parents. Children learn bigotry from parents who are bigots. Children learn intolerance, hatred, fear, absolutism, nonchalance, and disregard for the feelings of others from parents who exhibit the same traits. Children repeat things they hear at home and they do it at school, at parties, at friend’s houses. And I guarantee you the adults in attendance know where it came from. 

Teach your children to appreciate the differences in each other and in the people around them. Teach them to be courteous. Teach them to accept people for who they are. Teach them that it’s ok to walk away from someone if that person is hateful, rude, intolerant, or bigoted....even if it’s a friend. Teach them to ask questions. Teach them that how other people live their lives is not their business, and it doesn’t affect them. Teach them to love. Teach all of this by doing it yourself. Every day. Teach them to stand up for what they believe in, but to do it with dignity, and that it’s not ok to degrade, humiliate, or insult others simply because their opinions differ.  

In other words, don’t let them grow up to be idiots. 

(Oh, and manners, PLEASE teach them manners.)

Got Religion? Great. Get It Out of My Face.

Greg Epstein is the humanist chaplain at Harvard University and the author of the New York Times bestseller “Good Without God.” In the introduction, he wrote: “This is not a book about whether one can be good without God, because that question does not need to be answered -- it needs to be rejected outright. To suggest that one can’t be good without belief in God is not just an opinion, a mere curious musing -- it is a prejudice.”

It's also complete crap.

I often say that people I have known that claim to be the most Christian -- "I go to church every Sunday, I've read the bible five times, I lead the prayer group, blah blah blah" -- are usually the least Christian in their actions. It's the ultimate in hypocrisy. These are the same people who are quick to quote the bible to prove their point, but they really dislike it when you either point out how they're using the scripture wrong or how they are completely misunderstanding it. These people will stab you in the back in a New York minute, they'll gossip about anyone and everyone whenever they get the chance, they're rude to customer service workers whenever anything doesn't go their way, you get the point. But try to argue your opinion, and they're the first to say, "But the bible says!!!"

I don't dislike religion. What I dislike is people who think that what they believe is what everyone around them should believe. Or in reality, what the whole world should believe. Take those who do missionary work, for example. If you're going to impoverished countries to actually help people, I think that is beyond commendable and I actually wish I had the opportunity to do that also. But if you're going there because you think that these impoverished people would be so much better off if they subscribed to your beliefs, that's just a kind of hubris I can't even wrap my head around. What's wrong with what they believe? Why is what you believe right, or so much better? What if THEY'RE right and you're wrong? 

Let's go back to the "civilization" of America. Funny term, that. We teach in history class that the first colonists were the ones to start civilizing the country. In my opinion, the country was already more civilized by the natives that were already here. You had people who respected the land, using only what was needed, took care of their own, established rules and governments within their own tribes and made treaties with other tribes, and established their own languages and means of communication. Yes, they fought with other tribes. They fought for land, they fought for supplies, they fought for many reasons. How, I ask, is that any different than any other civilization since time began?

And yet they were savages who needed to be taught.

So what did we bring them? The word of God. The bible. How to worship a book instead of the earth and everything she provided. And what else? Disease. Alcohol. And guns. Let's not forget the guns. Then we told them they couldn't stay on this land they had held for how many hundreds of years because we wanted it. So we made them move. But still told them God was good and would take care of them. Trail of Tears, anyone?

Then we have Catholicism. What a complete joke. That religion is so steeped in violence, murder, corruption and greed that I am absolutely amazed that anyone actually takes it seriously. The Pope is flawless and never has an impure thought? Seriously? He's MALE. I call complete BULLSHIT. And don't even get me started on the whole "priests raping little boys" scandal. That just makes me sick. So they're ok with covering that up, moving those priests around to keep it quiet.......but birth control is a sin, fertility assistance goes against the word of God, homosexuality is an abomination, and so on and so on. I've got news for you, Catholics....homosexuality has been observed in almost every animal species. You know what has never been observed in anything but humans? CELIBACY. Oh and then there's the problem I have with Catholicism and the ten commandments.....you know the one that says, "Thou shalt have no other Gods before me"?  Then there's the one that says you cannot create any image or any likeness of any heavenly being or object. Those would be the FIRST TWO commandments. Now, walk into any Catholic church. And there ya go. Absolute hypocrisy.

So now you have people arguing against abortion, even though Roe vs. Wade was passed almost forty years ago, and they're trying to use the bible to stand behind. You have people arguing against equal rights for homosexuals, trying to use the bible to stand behind. You have people arguing that the government (the GOVERNMENT) should be following the bible, using prayer in Congress, and so on. What in the hell is going on in this country? 

I love the people who try to argue that this country was founded on Christianity. Um, no it wasn't and some of you people seriously need to read up on your history. The Treaty of Tripoli, ratified by the U.S. Senate in 1797, states that "the Government of the United States of America is not, in any sense, founded on the Christian religion." Furthermore, Article Six of the Constitution reads "no religious test shall ever be required as a qualification to any 
office or public trust under the United States." In other words, a person does not have to 
subscribe to any particular religious faith in order to serve as President, as a member of 
Congress, as a federal judge, or in any other government position. The First Amendment 
prohibits the government from banning any religion, and also prohibits the government from 
setting up any religion as the nation's official faith, no matter what the zealots would like to 
have happen.


Oh, Westboro Baptist Church. What ammunition you provide. If ever there was an entity that 
claims to be doing the work of God and is, in actuality, doing the COMPLETE OPPOSITE, it 
would be you. You people are so ridiculously misled and brainwashed it's amazing any of 
you can go take a pee on your own. Oh wait, maybe you all do that together, too. Mr. Phelps, 
you are evil walking, and you can tell yourself whatever you want to help yourself sleep at 
night, but the ONLY people who think you have any sense in that peabrain of yours are the 
ones drinking your KoolAid on a daily basis. Freak.

I don't claim to be an atheist. I don't claim to be agnostic. I was raised and baptized Episcopalian, but then church became more of a social scene once I was in middle and high school. We'd go to church with my grandparents, sometimes this Baptist church, sometimes that one, sometimes a Methodist church. I guess the feeling was, as Dolly Parton said in "Steel Magnolias", that "God didn't care which church you went to as long as you showed up." 

I also don't claim to be religious. I believe in science, I believe in facts, and I sure as hell don't believe that the bible: a book written by men, a book that contradicts itself over and over, a book made of up stories passed down by how many generations with embellishments and additions made by how many people.....I just cannot believe that this is a book I am supposed to base my entire life around. 

Now here's where I will concede a few points. I do not argue that there are good points and morals in the bible that we should all strive to follow. I mean really, there's the Golden Rule, which SOOOO many people seem to have conveniently forgotten: "Do unto others as you would have others do unto you." Too bad more "Christians" don't follow that one.

My husband and I are kind, generous people. We teach our children to be kind and respectful, and we do not judge people by anything but by their deeds. We have the same struggles as everyone else. We give to charities, we volunteer our time in our community, we take care of our responsibilities and we don't expect anything from anyone. We open doors for people, we say please and thank you, we teach our children correct table manners and to be respectful of adults. We do our best to recycle and do what we can to help reduce our carbon footprint. I work in the garden, I teach my girls how to help me with that, and hopefully in the spring we're going to start a vegetable garden. We help when help is warranted, but we certainly balk at helping people who just want something for nothing. My husband and I love each other deeply, we are celebrating our tenth anniversary this year, we have a lot of fun together, and we make sure our children see us show affection toward each other just as much as we show affection towards them. There's not a day in this house that every single person isn't told how much they are loved. Again, we have the same struggles, the same frustrations, the same child-rearing woes as everyone else. We yell, we get angry. We also make up, laugh, giggle, cry and hug each other. 

Yep, we're total heathens. 

Mom Pet Peeves

I'm just gonna make a list. No elaboration needed. Feel free to add your own in the comments.

• Automatic flushing toilets (anyone who's ever been through potty training can relate)
• Automatic faucets that don't work
• Automatic faucets that only give out hot water (whose bright idea was that? As if it wasn't hard enough to get your kid to wash their hands in the restroom)
• Hand dryers that scare the crap out of kids
• High chairs in restaurants with broken buckles 
• Booster seats in restaurants (except Cracker Barrel, theirs ROCK)
• Servers in restaurants who decide to bring the kids their food first without asking the parents
• Servers in restaurants who decide to bring the kid a big bowl of whipped cream because the kid is throwing a fit (yeah, that actually happened)
• Servers in restaurants who bring food to everyone at the table EXCEPT the kids (good grief)
• Restaurants that claim to be family friendly but have no changing facilities (I have been known to change a poopy diaper on a booth seat just to make a point)
• Chuck E. Cheese ('nuff said)
• Planners of public parks in hot climates (I'm in Texas) that do not put shade structures over playground equipment (sorry, but that stuff gets ridiculously hot in the summer - why don't you put some shorts on and slide and see how it feels?)
• Public parks meant for young children that have no bathroom facilities (I know it's a lot more money, but seriously?)
• The fact that every grocery store doesn't have a play place for kids so the moms can shop in peace (I would PAY for this)
• CANDY AT THE CHECK OUT LINES (SO HELP ME GOD ONE OF THESE DAYS I AM GOING TO LOSE IT IN THE GROCERY STORE)
• People who think the peanut allergy is a fad
• People who make fun of other people's children, especially in front of their own
• People who don't take time to explain certain things to their children......for example, while on vacation we encountered a young man with Down's Syndrome. His case was severe. He wanted to shake my hand and I was glad to do it. He was very loud and very excited. I have been a teacher for many years and I have worked with many different children, so I wasn't afraid at all. My oldest, however, was very scared of him. I took the time to explain to her what Down's Syndrome was and that he was just happy, and that there was absolutely nothing to be afraid of. The boy's father was very thankful, and I know that he doesn't always get that kind of reaction from people, which is very sad.
• Parents who exhibit bad manners, a lack of courtesy, rudeness, or any other inappropriate behavior in front of their children
• ANY PARENT WHO HAS EVER DUCT TAPED THEIR CHILDREN TO A WALL
• Honey Boo Boo and her skank of a mother
• And for that matter, any pageant moms
• Parents who try to be their children's buddy instead of their parent
• Rental car companies who try to give you a 2 door sports car when you clearly have two full size car seats (yes, I would LOVE to drive the sports car, thanks for reminding me that I am very much a mom right now)
• Rental car companies in general
• Flight attendants with attitudes
• Any parent who has every taken their toddler to a movie in a theater (unless it's animated, age appropriate, and engaging) especially after bedtime
• People who offer unsolicited parenting advice
• Grocery baggers who put baby food in the same bag with raw meat (had to call the manager at the store about that one)
• People who drive with small children in the front seat (children who are clearly not old enough to be sitting there)
• Women who use public bathrooms and pee all over the toilet (or worse) and don't clean up after themselves.....seriously, girls!! There is no need to hover. And whether you do or don't, have the courtesy to turn around and make sure you didn't leave a mess. 
• Women who use public bathrooms and WALK OUT WITHOUT WASHING THEIR HANDS. Gross. Just gross.
• People who chew with their mouths open and talk with their mouths full of food. Again, just gross. It's hard to teach my kids that doing that is not ok when they look around and everyone is doing it. You look like cows. 
• Daylight Savings Time
• Delivery people who ring the doorbell during naptime even though I have a sign CLEARLY posted that says "Please Do Not Ring the Bell"
• Random solicitors who ring the doorbell
• Dog hair
• Laundry
• Misspelled, professionally printed signs.....even my oldest is starting to point them out. Yes, people, spelling matters.
• The whole "pants around the thighs with boxers showing" trend. I mean really? What is up with that? You look like an idiot, pull your pants up.

I'm sure I'll think of more. In the meantime, I've got laundry to do.

Feel free to add your own!